I am a total stress junkie. It feels as if I’m missing something vital if I’m not obsessing over a to do list, or worrying about possible problems. And life with teenagers is chock full of problems, most of which get blown way out of proportion. My poor besieged besties, who take my calls and over coffee listen patiently to my crazed rants. And amazingly, they still love me and still take my calls. There’s a reason you guys are the best! ❤️ My incredible friends always remind me that there’s a bigger picture out there. Usually all it takes is a quick coffee date or a $15 pitcher or margaritas along with some silly laughs, sometimes at my expense. (Take it from me, NOBODY looks good with tequila shooting out their nose!🍸)
There is always going to be a reason to freak out. Life is full of anxiety induced events, from simple pondering a over what size coffee to have, to more complex issues involving finances, friends and family. I really wish I knew in my 20’s what I know now. I would have saved myself a lot of aggravation and panic attacks. Bottom line, it’s just not worth the wasted energy. I mean, a full on panic attack, laying prone on the floor over an exam or a term project? Certainly there’s much more to the future than that. So, OK, yes, I still freak out, but I have learned (with loads of help) to find the positive side to everything. A survival tool? Maybe. But it’s all about learning to love myself,mmy faults, my eccentricities. I’m different, and that’s OK. I’ve made friends with those little voices of fear and doubt in my head, and the panic driven attacks are less frequent. Stop laughing, I know who you are, and where you are, don’t make me name names and come for you! 😂😘
And so dear readers, here’s my short list of things you can learn to control. Well, some of you might be able to stop obsessing, the rest of you may need more coffee therapy. ☕️
- Hair: My hair in its natural stet looks like someone plugged me into the wall socket. I could be the poster child for a good old fashioned Banshee. Forty minutes with a flat iron renders me human, but it sucks the energy right out from me, even with awesome tunes in the background. My solution : a ponytail or washing the tresses less often. Now now, don’t go all eeeeewwww gross on me. Lots of people with long, thick unruly hair wash it once to three times weekly. Not like I’m waiting six months between shampoos. But less drying time (literally takes 2-3 hours to air dry so it’s damp but dry enough to straighten) means less morning stressing out time, so I’m all in on this one. And the ponytail (incidentally the only style I’m capable of besides straightening) – you’d be amazed at how quickly you cause I flat iron a frizzy mane that’s pulled back into a semblance of wavy but normal looking hair.
- Job : Yup, this is a biggie. I’ve learned that I need to follow my heart and my gut here. The right job WILL come along. It’s about putting myself out there, networking, connecting, hinting my craft and my skills. Not every job will be perfect, or the right fit, but we need to try and use them as learning experiences; stepping stones to a better future.
- Money : Perhaps this is the biggest, boldest obsession. Always
worried? Me too. It’s alright to put yourself on a budget. Save your pennies for the big stuff you want – they do add up. There’s loads of free or low cost stuff out there for amusement, so don’t keep running to the bank every weekend for the bigger, better jollies. Try something local, low cost and invite your friends along.
- Accidents : Guilty. I’m not OCD enough to always remember if I’ve left the lights on, closed the garage door, put the milk away, etc. one of my kids used to leave the door to our extra fridge open just enough for the extra milk and cheese to get “warm-ish. At first, I freaked out. Banshee lady scared the kid so much he cried, but he did forget again, so my mini freak meant nothing. Now, I handle it better. It’s not worth E. Coli or food poisoning. Just suck it up and toss the slimy stuff. Trust me, toss it and move on. I think this rule should apply to forgetfulness as well. Sometimes forgetting means it wasn’t really necessary at all.
- Things that could go wrong : Positivity. (Yes, should be in some dictionary by now.) You are only stealing your own success by always focusing on the negative stuff. Stop imagining tragedy before it even peeps over the horizon, and live for each moment. The future is not really in your control. Never was. Because you, are not God. (Sorry to my atheistic readers, if any. Feel free to alter that sentence to your liking) The only power and control you own is in the here and now. Remember that.
Most things we stress, obsess and freak out over are things that we cannot control. It’s not in our power to change them. The few things we can control, we need to take charge over and do something about. Set up a schedule, get a planner, make time for the inevitable mess ups that get tossed in your daily salad. Remember to never turn your personal power over to someone else. Breathe. Be kind to yourself. Don’t fuel your fears, and the fires will die down. Pinky swear.
Do you remember the last time you freaked out? Was it in your head? A full blown panic stricken meltdown? It wasn’t pretty was it? Share how you moved past it and surged ahead in the comments. I’ll keep sending those caffeinated hugs back, but especially to my solid girls. You know who you are, and I couldn’t do any of this “stuff” without you having my back. Extra hugs, extra java love. ❤️☕️❤️