And it’s officially the holiday season. Family, friends, parties, cooking, cleaning, shopping – stress. And you are not looking forward to that big get together with “those” people. It’s hard my friends, to remove yourself from toxic relationships. For many reasons, unique to us all, you remain entangled, and caught up in negative vibes. Their gloomy energy can drain you, and leave you feeling lost, angry and insecure. Your natural gut instinct is to release that inner green monster, smash things and lash out. I promise – you won’t feel better. You end up even more disappointed and sometimes angry.
So how can you beat those negative blues? Trite, but true – keep a positive attitude. The golden rule of thumb here, is to control your response. Meditate, be mindful, count to 10 – whatever it takes. Learn to view negative situations as opportunities. Learn from them. Identify triggers, even if they involve other people and their negativity and reactivity. Train your brain to control the feelings and situations so you have the upper hand.
Here are 5 ways to stay positive when you are around negative people or situations that you cannot or do not want to remove from your life.
- Remember that everyone has their own journey. Karma. We all have different lessons to learn in life. Karma is when we realize what our purpose is. (I know, not what you think of, but let’s stay simple here) There is a reason this person or situation is present in your life. Expand your thinking and adopt a broader life view.
- Don’t take it personally. I know this is easier said than done. Sometimes, when people are overwhelmed by difficulties in their own lives, they lash out at others. Especially those closest to them. Don’t be offended- it all stems from their own insecurities and fears; Sometimes even anger. Super important- remember- this about them, not you. So, breathe, be mindful and let it go.
- Make this an opportunity to grow. I know I mentioned this before, but it’s critical to your wellbeing. Changing your mindset changes your attitude. (I know, I’ve written this before) In my classes for life coach training, we are taught to alter our perception just a bit so we can imagine what the client is feeling. Ask yourself what is going on in their lives to make them behave so untoward? Try and take this time to shore up your own self with positivity. Reflect on how you would feel in their situation, and offer compassion.
- Gratitude. So important. I know I have talked about gratitude journals. Make a list. Keep track of the things life has that you are grateful for – even if it’s just your morning coffee. Count the little things. Gratitude reminds us that life is more than just the here and now, so practice mindfulness, and move beyond the bad feelings. Take yourself out of the other person’s sphere of influence.
- Alone time. Yes, you need to spend some time with yourself. Get a hobby. Meditate, yoga, a walk, anything. Be alone with your thoughts. Shift your thinking so that you are filled with positive energy.
Life will continually present you with negative situations. Choose how to react to them. Be positive. It’s hard, but with a little work you can learn to overcome your initial gut emotional reactions. It will help you to maintain control and deal with life’s curve balls in positive ways.
Stay motivated and caffeinated!😉☕
Have you read The Four Agreements? Think that is the name. Very similiar to your list. Another one is “don’t make assumptions”.
Alone time and reminding myself that I am healthy and got a healthy family in safe surroundings brings me up from feeling down, gives me some perspective. I find that spending time with my kids and husband is a great distraction from those down times.
I really needed to read this. It’s so easy to lose sight of the things we have to be grateful for, and our current purpose. Thank you so much.
You’re so very welcome Brittany.