Better To Be Than Not To Be


So I’m home, back from an epic adventure of running from the storm, and I am wide awake. I’m lying in bed, flipping my pillow for the cold spot, and finally exhaling all that stress. Until you pack your life, loved ones and menagerie into a small SUV, driving at least 6 hours at a clip, you cannot fathom what stress really feels like. Imagine too close quarters, too many breathing life forms, and zero privacy. Sigh….but that is past now. Looking back, I am wondering at the quality of the time we spent, the measure of our days on the road.

Most days, I lie in bed, and I relive my day, pointing out the mistakes I made, the things I need or want to change, and the words I need to pen before they slip away entirely. Most of us measure our days, our lives, by what we do or have done. If our To Do list got done, if we received any praise or thanks, we feel better about the day, and sleep a little easier. Perhaps we feel better if we compare our day to the accomplishments of our family and friends, and if we didn’t screw it up too badly, we sleep the peaceful sleep of the contented. Maybe.

What do we do, if we didn’t finish our lists? What if today was filled with the same old boringness that fills every day? What if we made mistakes – big mistakes? If you didn’t accomplish all you had planned, perhaps you’re flipping that pillow more often than usual. I know I am. Regretful rumination can keep the best of us from getting that good night’s sleep. So how can you avoid this trap? I’d love to say that I have all the answers, but the best I can do is offer a small modicum of advice. How about you and I, begin to determine the quality of our days based on how we were, rather than what we do? Let’s focus on the “be-ing” of life, the mindful moments. Let’s ignore the checklists, after all, most of it is stuff you do anyway, like brushing your teeth and making coffee. How about taking a few moments tonight to sit quietly and reflect on how YOU were today. How did you feel and make others feel as opposed to what did you do or not do? It can change your outlook and the whole quality of your life.

Try this checklist of seven important questions for the end of your crazy busy days. (I chose seven because it’s one of my lucky numbers.)

  1. How was your day sweetness? Really and truly?
  2. Did you find a few peaceful moments for yourself? Meditation, a walk, a quiet drive on the way to someplace? Bonus points if you did. 😊
  3. Did you practice mindfulness today? Appreciate nature or that awesome cup of coffee? Did you just breathe?
  4. Did you practice gratitude? Prayers count peeps.
  5. Did you help anybody today? Maybe offer a kind word or gesture to someone not because you had to, but because you wanted to? More points to collect here. 😍
  6. Did you smile or laugh today? How much? Did you find happiness in the little things? That is truly a gift. 🎁
  7. Did you love doing what it is you do, and most importantly, did you love the people around you who count? Did you tell them? Did you feel the warm fuzzies? 💝

Congrats! You had an epic, awesome day!

Remember folks, don’t be too hard on yourself. We all spend way too much time getting too wrapped up in the “doing” parts of our day. This is especially true if you are forced to be in close quarters and you want to be sure everyone gets along. It’s no fun tripping over someone else’s toes. So let me wrap up this post with three little things you can do to make your quality of your day better, so you can sleep easier. No pillow flipping

  1. Be conscious about how you are choosing to live your life. Learn from your teeny tiny mistakes.
  2. Make the “living” part of life your priority over the “doing” part of life.
  3. Instead of a To Do list, make a To Be list.  Include things like:

Be mindful, peaceful and aware

Be loving

Smile more

Be forgiving

Be thoughtful

Be supportive, loyal

Be honest

Just “Be.”


Remember, your quality of life is determined by who you are, not by what you are or what you do. We are all human and fallible. Try living with your own code, what feels right and makes you happy and peaceful. I think I found that last cool spot on my pillow. It’s late, and now I’m ready for Lord Morpheus to sprinkle those grains of sand over me. Sleep well my peeps.


Live peacefully, motivated and caffeinated! 😘☕