Break the cycle


Time for morning beansIsn’t it strange how those who are most abusive, are so concerned with how others speak? Verbal and emotional abuse is so common, and those who experience it, at the receiving end, become broken. The cycle is so difficult to break. The calm before the storm so tranquil, it’s hard to see when the blowup is coming. It hurts so much, especially if you need to stand by and watch a loved one suffer.

I wonder about the children of emotional abusers. rather than growing up and having the happy memories of childhood, they are bound to remember the unfair punishments, the punishments that isolate them, and the ones that are imposed even when innocent. It hurts to see how a child can become a social outcast, and every time he/she reaches out and almost makes it, a setback occurs…stalking the child, fear or repercussions for any action, the fear of speech. How horrible to go through life thinking one is worthless, that the unique ideas formed in their minds cannot be shared, that laughter and pure happiness elude them replaced by fear.

Ironically, bipolar people seem to repeat this cycle. The abuse occurs, and though not physical, it leaves horrid scars, the kind that are indelible on the mind and soul. The abuser, after blowing up, punishing, verbally reducing his/her prey to tears or worse, introversion (is that a word?) relaxes. Soon after, the incident is forgotten, and the abuser returns to the day, happy, the event a mere memory, perhaps a faraway speck on the horizon of the mind. But for the abused, the memory lingers. The cycle is bound to be repeated, in a day, a week, a month, a year. The abused remains, hope the last stand, that while times are good and peaceful, perhaps a change can occur. Yet with this hope, the hatred lingers in the heart, unable to forget the words, the weapons that are so sharp, they slice the confidence and the soul.

How many suffer silently, how many more speak out, yet still remain….ever the eternal optimist…