Creating Happy

pix by Tim Arterbury:
pix by Tim Arterbury:

We can create our own happiness in one simple step. Really. Just express kindness and love. You know that feel good wave of joy within, that comes from kindness. There are millions of studies that list all different kinds of activities to cultivate happiness. Happiness is not only an emotion, but also a state of mind. Mystery solved. If you are doing something you enjoy, feeling happy is the side effect. We express our love for friends and family and other meaningful things in our lives. Emotions are invisible so we often overlook where they come from. Silly reader, of course we create our emotions. We experience warm fuzzy feelings from the love and kindness we express for people; not because of them. By showing and feeling love, we are happy.

So today I want to talk about kindness. Yes, that’s right. Last night, while enroute to a big box store for some stock up shopping, I was stopped at a traffic light. I was chatting with hubby about inconsequential nonsense, and my attention was drawn to the car ahead of me. At the red light, the door opened, a foot descended, and a woman emerged, a water bottle tossed out after her. Suddenly, she was in front of our car, gesturing. Rolling down the window, she asked if we could just take her up to Hillsboro, a few blocks south, and not out of our way. She added that she was “not dangerous, she was 67 and was just thrown out of the car by her boyfriend.” So we let her in for a ride.

kindness alwaysIn about three minutes, we had ascertained that “Anita” was harmless, and lived nearby, although in the opposite direction. She told us she was from NY, and of course, we played geography. My husband asked her about her boyfriend, turns out they were together 11 months, but in her naïveté, she let herself be stepped on. She told us about her ex-cop ex-hubby, and her 3 children, 5 grandchildren and how she was not afraid to stick up for herself, but she was too innocent in affairs of the heart. We drove her directly to her door, chatting amicably the whole way. She was so appreciative, and invited us up for coffee or ice cream, but we were already late on our shopping errands. She was polite, grateful and mindful of her own state, as well as making us feel good. Sometimes it’s about being in the right place at the right time. In any case, we felt happy. We helped someone. Although it was solicited, we could have refused her a lift, and left her. But we didn’t. And we all experienced gratitude and happiness.

So what about all the things that seem to make us happy?

The one thing that truly determines happiness is the expression of joy and love radiating from within you. Happy people are kind people, and they attract like souls. (Again, a warning: beware the needy souls, they feed on your happy state, sucking your life away.) I know you are wondering about this statement.  Do we create our emotions? Absolutely. Think of any happy memory from your past. It can be a person or an event. Immerse yourself in the feeling evoked. The memory is the trigger, but you are creating the emotion. How you focus and interpret experiences in your mind are what allow you to create emotion. Hopefully lots of happy.

True happiness is yours if you are self-aware. Choose the emotion you want to express in each moment of your day. Be mindful (you knew it was coming!) When you reach this level of “self-mastery,” which can be helped by regular meditation and overall kindness in your general manner, the obvious choice is to express love, which equals with happiness. You’ve never seen someone totally in love who was miserable, right? It’s sort of like the mantras in Buddhism. The Dalai Lama is always seen smiling and contemplative, and happy. I guess the Tibetans have figured it out. This internally created foundation of happiness is much deeper and longer lasting than the happiness we pursue from material junk.

Spiritualists have been studying happiness and love for gazillions of years. They are truly onto something special. Happiness is not a secret. It’s so simple that anyone can show it even if its inexplicable. Happy is a feeling created by the expression of kindness and love coming from your deepest soul. Being mindful that we create emotion shifts responsibility and gives us power to fuel our own happiness.

Anita, although disillusioned and upset by last night’s circumstance, was still a pretty happy soul. She believes in finding happiness in life, in the simple joys, and in the kindness of humanity. Even with all her trials (and like Lorraine of coffee shop fame), she is an optimist. She is aware that she is in control, and nobody can make her feel less than amazing for long. She has the power we all seek – to be truly happy. 

color your worldLet me end today, my friends, with a positive note. It’s a grey and rainy day here in South Florida, but I feel pretty darn great. A kind, generous nature allowed me the privilege of meeting and helping another soul. And THAT makes me happy. (So does jumping in puddles- I know, but I am just a big kid at heart) Some of you have sent comments that you missed the older, longer articles, less lists, more story. I’m feeling my way through here folks, so I will attempt to do right by you while hopefully inspiring you. Trying to grab that magic juju and share it with you, my wonderful peeps. The best way for me to do this is to get your feedback. So don’t be shy, comment on. I answer all legit notes. Pinky promise.

Do something kind today, and make your happy happen!

Stay motivated and caffeinated!😉☕

BONUS: And my fave upbeat tune of the week from the Dirty Heads; Click thru and I hope your feet start tapping and the smiles creep out… That’s All I Need



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