How to Love Your Whole Self


“I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line. -Lucille Ball

 Every morning, I sit in the living room, tray table set with my laptop, coffee in hand and I write. Or attempt to write. I keep thinking about how blogging is evolving, how I am evolving, and whether or not I am ready for the next big step. Video. Yes, my friends, I know where the future lies, but being somewhat of an introvert, and lacking the ability to always see myself in the best light, I worry about being left behind.

Last week I attempted to record a short video for you, my adoring fans. I sat quietly contemplating my New Year’s message to you, what I wanted to say and share with you, and I wrote it all out. A personalized script. I took my papers to the dining room, looked in the mirror and rehearsed. When I thought I had it down, I grabbed my trusty iPad and hit record. OMG! This was never going to work. My nerves got the best of me, and I spoke so quickly, even I couldn’t understand me. So, I tried again. And again. After the umpteenth revision and recording session, I returned to the sofa, lifted my mug in defeat and perhaps you heard me sighing wherever you are. But, I know, if I want to make it, I will need to conquer this whole “vlog” thing. Maybe I should try Facebook live first.

Honestly peeps, my heart started racing, but, I decided that if I could stand up onstage at the American Stage Company and emcee the evening, or teach a class of middle school girls to get down and dirty with charcoal and oil paints, that I could master this video thing. After all, we’re all friends here, right? So, I tried again. I sounded like a gerbil. Squeaky, high pitched and whoa – it’s nerves. I was so disappointed in myself. Everything looked great while I was recording, but do I really sound like that? And my face- do I really look like that? Just about now, my stronger inner self grabbed a hold of me and gave me a good shake. All I kept thinking was I am here to encourage others to be positive, to practice self-love, and yet, here I am, beating myself up for my own perceived imperfections. Time to be mindful. I may not be ready for that video yet, but I will. And when I do record, it will be honest, openhearted and natural.

So just about now you’re thinking, what the heck is she babbling on about today? I want to share with you, what I shared with myself. It’s really all about how we turn the parts of ourselves that we don’t like (whether internal or external) into the traits we love most about ourselves. It’s about accepting who and what you are, and not being afraid to share that with the world. And so, I made a list. Here’s what you can do to make yourself feel better on those days when you need a little more love.

  1. Hear the words that you say to yourself. It is incredible how mean we can be to ourselves. Self-loathing and what we tell ourselves in our minds can be pretty cruel my friends. You would never tell a friend “You look hideous today!” or “Wow, you sound weird!” So why is it alright to say it to yourself? Start talking to yourself with love and kindness. How you feel comes from what you tell yourself. So tell yourself how amazing you are – really.
  2. It’s OK to have good days and bad days. Know that we can’t be positive 100% of the time. Self-acceptance and self-love don’t manifest 365 days a year, and that’s life, and it’s alright. Loving yourself is a continuous journey. It’s a way of life that you must cultivate like those prized roses in the garden. Know that you won’t always feel good about yourself, but that those moments will pass. You are a work in progress.
  3. Realize when you take the wrong path. Shaming ourselves is not loving. Learn to accept all the parts of you – the emotional, the imperfect, the unique. Be your own best friend. Use “lovingkindness” to tell yourself that you are perfect as you are. What you see as a flaw is what makes you special and unique. Don’t lose that.
  4. Decide that it is YOUR choice. Self-loathing occurs when we repeatedly reject a part of ourselves that we see as flawed. Don’t let yourself fall down that rabbit hole. Look into your mirror and see yourself -whole, imperfect, beautiful. Say to your reflection, Today I accept myself and love myself for who I am.” On the days when you’re really feeling low, it’s essential to try and accept that part of you that feels so low. But do it. Force yourself.

I hope by sharing this little personal part of me in today’s post, you will be inspired to start looking at the parts of yourself you don’t particularly care for in a better light. Don’t be ashamed of how you feel, but love and accept all your “flaws.” I am pretty certain that those little imperfections are a big part of what makes you lovable – exactly as you are. And I will make that video, just to prove I can, and I will share it with all of you lovelies. Imperfect as I may be, by loving myself I can love you too.

Stay Motivated and Caffeinated!😉☕