I am a woman obsessed. You know how it is – even as functioning adults, we all go through that intense worry over a quiet coffee – “who am I – really?” We are always trying to “find” ourselves, our place in the world hierarchy, even if that world is inside your own house. Well, after some serious contemplation, I am going to share some secrets with you. First, most of us don’t have a clue. That’s right. We let society, friends, media show us different sides of who we should be, but neglect the call from deep in our selves. Next, I’m letting you in on my little ways that I use to find my true self. Oh, I know who I really am, as do you, but we are ever evolving. So my lovelies, sit back, pour another coffee, and learn a new habit.
Life has a way of spinning out of control faster than you can blink. A million voices (both in and out of our heads) tell us what we should do, care about or think. Every time you get online, turn on the TV, or just take a walk, you are bombarded by subliminal (and blatant in your face) messages about what to buy and how to be. Your friends and family have input and impact too. Now peeps, none of this is a negative, but when you lose your focus, your dream, it’s not a pretty picture. When all of these influencers become the voice in your head, screaming over your own meek but determined voice, it’s time to take some action.
This is work my loves, but well worth it. Knowing your true self is what happens when you mute the volume on those outside opinions and turn up your own voice. Listen to your gut and your intuition. It usually won’t steer you wrong. I know, I’m preaching, giving advice when I have no right. But you have to trust me peeps – You just need to KNOW yourself. It doesn’t just happen. We aren’t born leaders, fashionistas, punks and mountain climbers. Just like you hang out with new friends, and you ask questions to get a vibe of who they are, you need to question yourself. Put a little effort into this incredible relationship with YOU. And it won’t always be easy, because like I mentioned, we are constantly moving, changing, evolving, growing.
So, here’s the deal: I’ve been on both sides of knowing who I am. The one side that is so totally opposite of everything I believe, stand for and just am; I was drowning in the voices of family and others who were “guiding” me to where they thought I should be, what I should do, and how I needed to live. But, they were so far off base, and who I REALLY am, the me I now know is true, changes everything. I currently sit in the camp of almost knowing who I am, because every day I am growing, learning and evolving, and I can personally tell you it changes everything.
So now what? To get closer to knowing who you really are…your true self, ask these questions. And be honest and brutally truthful. You won’t hurt anyone except yourself. (and we don’t want that to happen.)
- What do you really want? Your desires are the key to getting to know yourself because they help determine the path you’re on and why. Don’t focus so much on the “what” but focus on the “why.” If you’re struggling with what your big vision is, just create a vision board. It’s worth one afternoon of time, and will remind you to stay focused and on track.
- What comes naturally to you? We all have an inborn talent. Something that you’re able to do really well with very little effort; this is your talent. Knowing what this is can be a valuable asset. Here’s why: your talents bring you energy, (think karma, good stuff,) so the more you’re using your innate talents, the more you’ll feel like the best and truest version of yourself. I am most me when I am penning poetry or messing around with some charcoals, getting my hands dirty and seeing something emerge on the page is how I express my inner me.
- Are you listening? Stop everything and listen to the voice inside your head. Is it really YOU or is it coming from outside and around you? Next time you have a big decision to make, tune into how you feel. You have all the answers if you ask the right questions. Learn to listen to your gut. My favorite way to do this is to take a long walk by myself. (Nope, not even the dog gets to come) Listening to and being in nature is so peaceful and it helps me get away from everything other than what my heart, mind and gut are telling me.
- What do you like and what do you hate? Likes and dislikes are uber important. Maybe you hated your college major but were doing it to please someone. Maybe it affected your career outcomes and success in life. Nobody is a success when they dread their job every day. Maybe it’s something smaller – you like jeans and band tees, but as an adult in you town you wear more “suitable” attire. Why? Be yourself. Start tuning in to what YOU (and only you) like, instead of what you “should” like. And please, stop worrying too much about what looks good. It’s about being comfortable in your own skin.
Let’s wrap this up peeps. Keep in mind that knowing yourself is an ongoing process. No matter where we are in life, we continuously push away outside influences and their messages and expectations. Tune into the YOU station on your inner stereo and determine what you want and who you are. Sing along. I hope these questions are a great start to your journey.
Stay motivated and caffeinated!😉☕