You have the power to control your destiny.
Two years ago everything changed. We closed the business we worked so hard to build up, and now I had a lot of time on my hands. So I started to write, again. And I took some online classes (almost done and ready to study for that certification exam) in an attempt to rediscover a lost part of myself. But, I still have to face the truth, I am unemployed. That is a devastating and depressing word and makes me cringe when I hear it uttered. So now what you ask?
Truthfully, the idea of not bringing home a paycheck has filled my overactive brain with horrid scenarios. I became worried, fearful and concerned about my future. I feel a little lost, stuck and I by labeling myself; I am not helping myself or my situation. I acknowledge that while I have a problem, I am not THE problem. The issue is that like all of you lovely peeps I see my reality through a certain lens, and it’s not always rose colored glass. Unemployed is a fact, it is not symbolic of good or bad, yet in my mind, it has had very negative and depressing effect. Why do you ask? Because in today’s society we are validated by our careers. My self-worth suffered a serious blow, and the word failure tossed itself around in my head.
I know you’re wondering where I’m headed – stay with me. I started thinking about a long ago post, Change Your Place, Change Your Luck. The basic gist of that amazing post was that if one just changes their perspective, their thought process, then the whole world changes for them. Good things happen, and I (and you) feel happier. So I decided that the word “unemployed,” must leave my vocabulary. I am changing my outlook and staying positive. I’m only using empowering words now, so if you ask me, I might answer that I am in transition, or job hunting, or looking for better opportunities. It helps to convince myself too. All that frustration and feelings of being worthless are replaced with a decluttered brain space of possibilities and hope.
OK, so things are a little tight, but I have a great support system, and now, I also have time. I can pursue my dreams of writing and working to help others by becoming certified as a life coach. I’m not saying it’s easy, but it is a blessing. Being “unemployed” is a chance for me to start fresh, to rebuild myself and become that butterfly emerging from her cocoon. I have learned my friends, that even if I fail with something I attempt, I am not a failure. And that’s BIG. Being left without a job is definitely an experience, but I am not going to let it define me, encompass me, swallow me whole with my self-worth disintegrating. Oh no. I am coming up fighting.
Here’s the thing peeps. All those random thoughts in your head and the words that slip out from your lips have tremendous power. Words are energy – a force that impacts how we see, think and feel. So why not let the words be empowering instead of self-flagellating? Try this: Think of something in your life that is a problem. Stay there and be mindful of the issue and your feelings. When I look back at my life, I realize that I spent a lot of time chastising myself, and using words that did not empower me or reflect who I truly am (or was back then.)
It’s time to take back my life. Louise Hay, a Self-Help Publisher, once said, “You’ve been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.“ Learn to understand how hard you are on yourself, and how unfair that is to YOU. We are all people, and we are all worthy of being respected, loved, appreciated, listened to and acknowledged. This is what I know today (and I hope you do too); I am whatever I believe myself to be. If I think I am beautiful, successful, or ugly and stupid, it makes a difference. We are all traveling on the journey of Life, so maybe we need to refocus on growing. Growing our abilities, self-worth, self-respect, etc. It’s all about learning and being patient. Remember, choose your words wisely, the ones you say to others and the ones you say to yourself.
The words we use in our everyday life have power. They can either destroy or build relationships with ourselves and other people. Getting mindful of our self-talk is one of the best forms of self-love and self-compassion. Let us choose our words wisely.
Stay motivated and caffeinated!😃☕