The Rule of Five


So let’s continue working with fives. Five minutes, five quick things, five coffees; you get the idea. I talked about how life seemed more relaxed when we were “fill in the blank” (younger, more vibrant, poorer, single, married, etc. )right? I know sometimes it seems that way. But the truth is life can be comfortable wherever you find yourself. It will always be comfortable.  The difference is that as we mature (and get older), we tend to make things complicated for ourselves.

When we are youthful and optimistic, filled with promise,  we view the world with hopeful, rose-colored glasses know what we want, think we know where we are headed, and we don’t possess any hidden agendas. We liked people who smiled and were perky and avoided the ones scowling and frowning. We ate when we were hungry, drank when we were thirsty, and slept when we were tired. It was simple.
We grew older, matured and entered life after college or children, fill in your own blank again peeps. Somehow, we started to hesitate and question our instincts. When a new obstacle blocked our path, we stumbled and sometimes we fell. Eventually, we decide that we don’t want to fail anymore, so we avoid the issues and problems rather than looking for solutions. And we are sad, let down, morose.

Now that we find ourselves bereft, we look for comfort in food and drink. We try numbing ourselves to the cruel world and leave many conflicts unresolved. Sometimes, we start avoiding the unpleasant by staying out and away. We bear grudges, play little mind games and lie to ourselves to get through life and forge ahead. We spend too much or drink too much all to make ourselves feel better or to soothe an emptiness inside. This only makes our lives more difficult folks. Somewhere, you and I have lost touch with who we are, and just exactly what it is we need. Today, Morning Beans is going to make it all simple again and the list of five continues. Five ways to get yourself back on track, back to who YOU are and where YOU want to be.

  1. Stop feeling like EVERYTHING is essential. Learn to see what the significant things are in your life. Learn to say no, and stop overworking yourself. If you can say NO to others, then you will have time to say YES to yourself. We all need to learn to be flexible, to go with the flow. Catch up on some missed sleep by taking a catnap, eat healthily to maintain your energy and your overall health, make time just for you. Life is too short to let your bucket get empty. Remember to take a break from the pressure of day to day activities.
  2. Let go of perfectionism. This is a tough one for me, and I am seriously working on it daily. It’s hard to stop yourself from over-analyzing and over-thinking every little event in life. So often I lose a creative streak when writing because I spent too much time thinking and planning, but never grabbed that purple pen to put it on paper.
  3. Stop worrying about being judged by others. Also hard for me, but I am challenging myself to say, “I do not care.” With respect, I plan to tell this to those who are critical or talk down to me. I am saying it out loud to those who judge me for my beliefs and desires. I am only myself because of what I believe and care about, so let them judge. I won’t allow it to affect my life anymore, even if it seems to affect theirs.
  4. Take life one day at a time. Each day is a new beginning. It’s hard to fight today’s battles when yesterday’s are lingering, and you are worried about tomorrow. Life can be overwhelming, but one day, one thought, one goal at a time keeps it from being too complicated.
  5. Change your outlook. Where and what you choose to focus on can determine your happiness and the quality of your life. Your mind can be many things, from a battlefield to an oasis. We worry about things that might happen, even if it is improbable. Let the negative thoughts go. By not dwelling on the things that may never come to pass, you will find more peace, joy, and happiness in your life. Ultimately we are what we think. If you can’t change your mindset, then you cannot change your world or your life.
 “It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out, and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real, you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
– The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams

A beautiful day begins with beautiful thoughts. Practice mindfulness and gratitude for the little things. I believe it is possible to worry yourself into a dangerous place, a hole where your nerves are shot, and you become depressed and defeated. Think instead of how amazing it is to be alive, to breathe the fresh morning air and enjoy a peaceful cup of coffee (assuming your dog stops barking at the wind). It is a privilege to be healthy and happy, and YOU and I control that 100%. I promise, if you begin to see life as a blessing, then it will become one.

Stay motivated and caffeinated!

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