There’s a Nightmare in My Closet


Spring is here, and for Floridians, summer is riding in on her coattails. And speaking of coattails – my closet is a mess. I think there may be a small family of t-shirt reproducing Baggins living in there. And no, I don’t know what a Baggin is- but it is certainly making it tough to get dressed and ready in the morning.

Since you all know one of my besties is a professional organizer, my eyesore closet makes her nuts. Yeah, she sees it – we’re besties, and we share stuff. Now I am not as organized as she is, with everything sorted by clothing type and color, but I do like to keep all the jeans together, the professional attire hanging neatly, and all those t-shirts hanging and folded, depending on what type they are. But, there is, unseen by most, a DARK SIDE to my closet. More of a black hole behind the cold shoulder tees and ripped jeans.

So what’s a girl to do but organize and downsize? MBB is going to share a few basic tips with you for spring cleaning your closet. Every year I somehow manage to accumulate enough clothing to fill several big black bags that get donated to those in need. So think of this as an intervention.

First, let’s talk about this “unmentionables” hanging over the rods. I’m not talking about the sheer and lacy number you save for date night, but the stretched out, worn thin, pilled up t-shirt or sports bra. It is NOT a bonus to keep that favorite over the shoulder boulder holder from 1992…seriously. Try tossing a few bras each spring and treating yourself to some new, supportive, and maybe even pretty ones. Don’t forget (especially the ladies with a little extra) to keep that bra beautiful, you have to treat it gently. Don’t pop the molded cups inside out to fit better in the drawer – a bra specialist at Macy’s (yeah, apparently it’s a thing) for Wacaol said it’s best to keep those weird hangers they come on and use them. Note to self – never put bras in the dryer.

Next, let’s talk about the 25 black V-neck tees hanging in my closet. My mom always told me if I like something, it might not be available next time, so buy an extra and put it away. Great advice, but she neglected to remind me that when replacing the hole-y tee, I should toss it or recycle it into a rag. So…I have more black tees than Neil Gaiman at this point. I guess it’s time to sift through them. With an infinite amount of clothing choices…yeah – we’ll discuss my weekly wardrobe another time.

How about that outfit that you adored and HAD to have? You wore it once, maybe, and it has crawled into a cavern at the back of your closet. Perhaps it’s an outfit you ought when you decided to be stylish, wore a few times and got nauseated by the look? Styles come and go, and some pieces are worth saving, but you know when you need to let go. Try out the piece you love; if it works with something else, it’s a keeper; otherwise, it’s a tosser. Literally.

How about the diet trap? Ladies- we all fluctuate 5-10 pounds. It’s OK to have a few select comfy garments to accommodate this yo-yo life we call being female. But let’s get real. The oversized sweater that got into the dryer by accident and is now a crop top, the new jeans that will fit when you lose a few, or the “fat” clothes for just in case…GET RID OF THEM! I know how hard it can be to part with something you love – my Wish Tour tee from 1992 is living proof- but at this point I’m calling it  a souvenir. Hubby says it’s a relic. That means it’s valuable, right? In all seriousness, it’s important to be realistic about what you have hanging there and what you wear. Ilene, my organizing guru, has an excellent method. Turn all the hangers one way in the closet. If you wear an item, after it’s cleaned, put the hanger back in the opposite direction. At the end of the year (or 6 months- you choose) whatever hasn’t been worn is NOT a keeper.

And so, I leave you now in search of some bags and my willpower. It’s time to declutter let the light back into my closet. I should make space for some new stuff before the Memorial Day sales.

Stay motivated and caffeinated!Image result for coffee to go illustration